Well, if we are honest there a WAS a cost to getting our children! I don't mind talking about it at all. Particularly since my first born cost a heck of a lot more, since he was in intensive care for a month! Contrary to what I would have thought, when we took Sergei with us to adopt our younger son, he was really impressed by the idea that we'd paid that much for him! It actually seemed to raise his self-esteem.
I think that in a perfect world, those with hearts and homes open to children should be able to bring that child into their home without cost. But just like we have to pay the obstetrician and the midwife and the hospital, we have to pay the people that help us with adoption, too.
Angela Jackson said:Hi, my husband and I adopted our daughter from Guatemala in 2004. Fortuntely, we haven't had too many of those comments. However, the first one and I'll never forget it was "how much did she cost"... I was flabergasted. I think I said something like " we don't view it that way" or something. I should have said she's priceless but I was just to shocked to think to say it. I am very much an adoption advocate and love to share the "process" involved, when asked the right way. I guess I've just accepted that there will always be people who don't think before they speak and to just chalk it up to ignorance.
I just got a comment yesterday. "It's hard enough to raise your own children, much less someone else's." These ARE my children!
My daughter is almost 2 now, but when she was about three months, I was at a party and she began to cry when being held by someone else. Once I took her, she immediately stopped. A woman nearby that had just learned that I had adopted my daughter asked, "how do you think she knows you our her mom if you didn't give birth to her?". Can you imagine?! I responded by saying that I just kept showing up every day, and it must be working. It's hard at first b/c I think you want everyone to understand and fully appreciate your situation. As time goes by though, you learn that it just doesn't matter, and the love you have for your child is all you need. :-)
Two to Me said:I just got a comment yesterday. "It's hard enough to raise your own children, much less someone else's." These ARE my children!
I've gotten this and "I could never love a child who wasn't my own!" I always say something like "Oh yeah, thank God I'm raising my own child!"
The "own" thing is my hugest pet peeve. My child is as much my own as anyone else's child.
That is HILARIOUS! What do they eat? Are people serious? Oh, wow! HAHAHA
Tony Baggett said:The questions about the birth parents are intrusive, but I don't think most of the people mean any harm - they just do not realize it is an inappropriate question to ask. The comments that are most bothersome involve their health because since they are from Russia, most assume something is wrong with them. The most humorous question "What do they eat?" My answer - food.