Introduce Yourself
Tell us about yourself and your adoption story.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Megan Hilton on -
Hi! My name is Megan and I'm so excited about Adoption Voices! My husband Shane and I were married in 2001, as my older sister and her husband were hoping to adopt from China. A few months later, when we were told we should not attempt to get pregnant because my body would not physically handle pregnancy well, we were devastated. Watching my sister and her husband go through the adoption process and find their sweet baby girl was inspiring and hopeful for us. In addition, my husband's father is adopted and we are so grateful to belong to his family. We didn't even have to think twice about what our next step would be. As soon as we had all our ducks in a row to do so, we began our adoption journey in hopes of building our own forever family. Our son Carter Jesse (CJ) was our first amazing adoption miracle and we have been certified and waiting for another miracle since the Fall of 2007. At this time, we are pursuing foster adopt options in addition to working with LDS Family Services for domestic adoption here in the US. I enjoy spending my days with my little guy at home and being active in both the local adoption community and online with people like you!
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Permalink Reply by Jessica T on -
Hey, I'm Jess. Let's see... I started seriously thinking about adoption sometime around 2001 or 2002; I have a disability where I can't carry a baby to viable term so we knew when we were married in '99 that we wouldn't be creating a family that way. So around 2004 my husband came around to getting serious about it. After a lot of discussion on what we thought to do, we called up the agency in 2006 and got stuff going in that fall for the home study. In the spring of 2007, on the same day that we finished the final piece of home study paperwork, he got the call that he was laid off. We put everything on hold, found a new job, moved cross country, and settled into a new home and routine.
Thank God, the agency had a satellite office in our new town, so some of our paperwork transferred. Others didn't, of course, so in late 2008 we got the home study process going again, and finally became home study ready at the beginning of May. Though everyone has told us that adoption is a waiting game, usually they mean once the home study's done.... but I feel like I've already been waiting forever and we just got started on the part they meant!
We're hoping to adopt waiting children domestically (US), we're cleared nationwide and also have foster clearance in case the home state of the child we're matched with requires it. We're hoping for a 2-3 yr old, but are open to 0-5 year old, one child or two, as reasonably healthy as possible, though we have skills for certain kinds of disabilities up to moderate level. We also have three cats who have been child-stand-ins, so it's important that the kids don't have allergies and are not the kind who routinely vent stress on animals.
We've put inquiries in on 36 children/sibling groups so far in the past month, with no positive replies so far. I know it takes time though, so we're still plugging along. I made my own first call today... so nerve wracking! I thought of things I should have said after the fact, but I didn't say anything I shouldn't have, so that's good. :D
I look forward to getting to know everyone here!
~Jess
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Permalink Reply by Megan Hilton on
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Jess,
I can totally relate to the nerve-wracking calls! I picked up the phone and called for the 5th or 6th time today about a certain sibling group I can't stop thinking about. I still have not had any of my calls returned and it's so hard to want to reach out to these waiting kids without acknowledgment!
Good luck to you!
Megan
Jessica T said:Hey, I'm Jess. Let's see... I started seriously thinking about adoption sometime around 2001 or 2002; I have a disability where I can't carry a baby to viable term so we knew when we were married in '99 that we wouldn't be creating a family that way. So around 2004 my husband came around to getting serious about it. After a lot of discussion on what we thought to do, we called up the agency in 2006 and got stuff going in that fall for the home study. In the spring of 2007, on the same day that we finished the final piece of home study paperwork, he got the call that he was laid off. We put everything on hold, found a new job, moved cross country, and settled into a new home and routine.
Thank God, the agency had a satellite office in our new town, so some of our paperwork transferred. Others didn't, of course, so in late 2008 we got the home study process going again, and finally became home study ready at the beginning of May. Though everyone has told us that adoption is a waiting game, usually they mean once the home study's done.... but I feel like I've already been waiting forever and we just got started on the part they meant!
We're hoping to adopt waiting children domestically (US), we're cleared nationwide and also have foster clearance in case the home state of the child we're matched with requires it. We're hoping for a 2-3 yr old, but are open to 0-5 year old, one child or two, as reasonably healthy as possible, though we have skills for certain kinds of disabilities up to moderate level. We also have three cats who have been child-stand-ins, so it's important that the kids don't have allergies and are not the kind who routinely vent stress on animals.
We've put inquiries in on 36 children/sibling groups so far in the past month, with no positive replies so far. I know it takes time though, so we're still plugging along. I made my own first call today... so nerve wracking! I thought of things I should have said after the fact, but I didn't say anything I shouldn't have, so that's good. :D
I look forward to getting to know everyone here!
~Jess
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Permalink Reply by Ginger on -
Well, I'm Ginger and I'm not your typical birth mom. I'm 26 years old. I parented my first child (Dawn in 2001), placed my second (2003), third (2004), and fourth (2008). Yes, I know how that happens. Yes, I was taking birth control when I got pregnant all 4 times - Depo shot, lunelle monthly injections, nuva ring, and a diaphram with spermacide and a condom. Apparently, none of them can be trusted but we'll hope that my tubal will be more effective. No more babies for me. Yes, they all have the same biological father. Yes, we're still together after 8 years. No, we really couldn't have parented all of them. Yes, I sound defensive; you'd be surprised (or maybe not) about the comments I get.
All of the adoptions are open with identifying information shared both ways. It's 3 different families and our amount of ongoing communication varies but I still have ongoing communication with everyone. In fact, this fall, I'm gearing up for an IVF cycle as a traditional surrogate to give my youngest daughter a sibling.
My blog is here: http://adoptionpuzzle.blogspot.com/
And you can feel free to ask me pretty much anything because I rarely get offended or upset...though I prefer that if you're going to ask really personal questions that you do it privately.
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Permalink Reply by Joy Cody on -
I'm Joy, married to Jeremy and mom to Edith. This is her story. DUN DUN! (I'm a big Law & Order fan)
May 22nd, 2008, I was in the bathroom getting ready for work, when I got a call from our counselor. We were in the middle of a potential situation, so I was a little disappointed when our counselor told me that the e-mom had released all of the profiles so she could think a little more...but it turned out to be SUCH a good thing! There was a little girl in the nursery who was born April first and her mom (T) was finally able to make a decision about placement. Her dad (E) had signed TPR the day before, and T was supposed to, but had missed her appointment. T wasn't interested in looking at a bunch of profiles, she just wanted the longest waiting, married couple in the AA/BR program, which happened to be us!
Our counselor told us to keep going about our daily lives and not to change any plans or buy anything...so we didn't. We had been planning a camping trip with our friends (we were planning to go out a couple of days early) so we both took a half day on Thursday, packed up my car and headed out to the campground. I had my cell phone attached to me at all times, and I was able to check my email, so I was in full contact with our counselor at all times! She had emailed me in the evening on Thursday and told me that T had an appointment for 12:30 on Friday and she would be calling us as soon as T showed up so we could pack our stuff and get on the road.
After Noon on Friday, I was beside myself. It was so hard to concentrate on anything, we were stuck in the tent in the pouring rain and we were curled up in the sleeping bag for warmth, reading. I looked at my cell phone at 12:23 and asked Jeremy if he thought we should start getting things ready to go, and he said that we should wait for the call instead of getting stuff ready and having to get it all out again if the call didn't come. About 10 minutes later, my phone rang with the special ring (Don't Worry Baby, by the Beach Boys) and our counselor told us to get our stuff packed and get on the road. T was at the agency and she was meeting with the birthparent counselor.
You have never seen two people pack up a tent so fast. We had the stuff out of the tent and the tent down and in the car in less than a half hour, and we were on the road. We made a quick trip through the Wendy's drive-thru for lunch and we raced home as fast as we could. I believe I used some 4 letter words when we hit traffic, but we made it home in record time, got out of our wet and muddy clothes and jumped in Jeremy's car with the diaper bag. We had put the car seat in Jeremy's car "just in case" before we left on Thursday, so we just had to jump in and go.
We got to the agency in record time and met our counselor in the lobby. She asked if we wanted to meet our daughter first or sign the paperwork first. We both decided to meet our daughter first. Who are we kidding?! So we met her briefly, and then she left so they could do the release forms. We signed paperwork for a while, and then the nurse left to go bring her back. We changed her, took a couple of pictures and then we got her bundled in her carseat and we took off! It was utterly amazing.
This is my favorite part...our dog was at Jeremy's parent's house. When we left the agency, I called my MIL and said we were going to come by and pick up our Lucy dog. I said it was really crummy weather and we just decided to come home early. She suggested we stay for dinner, and I said we would love to...we were really hungry! So we pulled up, walked in, and my FIL was standing in the living room. He said Hi...and I said "sooooooooo?" He gave me a blank look and said "soooooo what?" I told him to look at his son (Jeremy was carrying Edith in the carrier). FIL said "Is that...is she OUR baby?" He was so excited to meet his newest granddaughter! Then I asked where MIL was...she had decided to take a shower. FIL went into the bathroom and said "I think we're going to need more food...Jeremy and Joy brought your granddaughter." After MIL named all three of her granddaughters, she said "Well I don't have any other granddaughters!" and FIL said "Well you do now!"
MIL came out of the bathroom in seconds...she was dripping wet, buttoning her shirt, and sobbing. She was overjoyed and she was the first person in our family to feed Edith...it was also a little hard to pry the baby from her arms! And they are buddies to this very day :)
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Permalink Reply by Melody on -
I am very happy to have found this site. My hubby and I adopted our daughter 3 1/2 years ago. We have been waiting to adopt again for 10 months. I feel that I have always been touched by adoption, my great-grandma is adopted, and numerous cousins. I also have two very close friends that I grew up with that are adopted. Looking forward to getting to know others here!
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Permalink Reply by Amanda Williams on -
Hi,
My name is Amanda and I'm 19yrs old. I am a Birth mom and placed April 2007 "Bunny" as I nick named her because she was born on Easter. I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant and moved from NC to UT through the adoption agency I used. I then stayed with some foster parents who I found out were unable to have children (they have spent some much money on Invetro, etc.) and I felt in my heart of hearts it was the best thing to do. Bunny shares the same birthday as her adoptive father. I have a huge testimony of how all this was able to work out.
I then found myself attracted to UT after placement and decided to stay for college where I met my now Husband of 1 year and had my son who is almost a year in a few weeks.
My adoption is very open and I see Bunny quite often. I do get the blues, but I know how much she is loved and adored and couldn't ask for a better life. Her and my son Ashton love to play and I know one day they will understand.
Oh, and Bunny has a new sister about Ashton's age as well, they fostered her then adopted her. :)
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Permalink Reply by Shelley on -
Hi! I am Shelley, single mom to 20 yr old Matthew and birthmom to 5 yr old Nathan. We have an open adoption that involves regular visits. I am fine with my choice as I still feel strongly that is was best for both my sons and my younger son has the life I wanted for him.
I am also a social worker with a child welfare background. Odd as this sounds, I was a child welfare social worker for six yrs before I became a birthparent. I left my child welfare job six months before my birth son was conceived.
I am also the owner of an adoption website called Adoption Connections. For some reason I can't get the link feature to work so you can find my website at www.adoptionconnections.ca.
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Permalink Reply by Coreen Chitty on -
I am Coreen and I am an adoptee. While you can read my "Readers Digest" version of my story on my profile, I'd like to post some thoughts here-in addition to what I've already written!
I am extremely lucky to have re-united with my birth family. Yes, my birth Mother did eventually marry my birth Father and I have a brother and the little sister I always wanted but never knew I had. I reunited 10 years ago and that first year was a wild ride. The family that adopted me is very different from me, but in a good way.
I fit in from day one with one my birth family, even though I had been "missing" for 29 years. Before meeting my birth family, I could never see the similarities between family members, I couldn't pick family members out of a crowd and now that I've met people who actually look like me, I can see the resemblance between family members. It amazed me to have siblings that I can really relate to. My sister and I are so like it's crazy, and we're 8 years apart.
In fact, I have to say that I am incredibly lucky and at times, this makes me feel incredibly guilty. I have 2 complete families (both sets of my parents are both still married), 2 sets of parents and where the guilt factors in is that I feel bad that there are so many children out there who don't even have ONE family or ONE decent parent and I have 2 families that love, support and encourage me.
I have since decided that adoption is the ONLY option for me. I look forward to one day adopting my own children.
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Permalink Reply by Samantha T. on -
When I married my husband 7 years ago today, I joined his family which included his two children from his first marriage. Because he had a vasectomy after his son was born, I married him knowing that I may never become a mother, even though I longed to have a daughter of my own. While helping raise his two children was gratifying, their mother was still active in their lives and being a stepmom just wasn't the same. We had been talking about vasectomy reversal, but the odds were really poor and my ability to carry a child was in question (I had an ectopic pregnancy during my first marriage.) Adoption never really entered my mind at that time. About six months before we were married, my hubby traveled to China with a single friend of his who was adopting. I learned more about their program and other people's experiences, so we decided that was the way to go to have our child! Just over a year after we were married, we started the paperwork. Our dossier went off to China in June 2004, we received our referral in December 2004, and had our daughter, Maya Grace MinXuan, in our arms on January 25, 2005. She is now 5 years old and the love of my life. Her sister is 19 and her big brother turns 17 next month. Our family is complete!
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Permalink Reply by Kerri on -
I'm Kerri. I'm a single mom to my two amazing daughters who joined me via adoption.
I was married for 7 1/2 years and after my divorce, I thought I could finally be a mom since I no longer had to take care of my exhusband.
My first adoption journey started in Nov, 2004. I knew immediately that it would be international and I chose Kazakhstan because it had a 6 week incountry stay to bond with the child. I thought this was really good idea for the children being adopted. Unfortunately my plans never panned out and about a year and a half in, I ended up changing to Guatemala. The wait for a referral there was so frustrating that I almost gave up and tried to get pregnant. Fortunately I held out and got a got a referral for a beautiful baby girl, just one week old. My mom, grandmother and I traveled to meet Ruby when she was just shy of 4 months old and she came home at 8 months, in May, 2007 (2 1/2 years after I initially started). I had hoped to meet her mom on my pickup trip but that didn't work out. I hope to start a search for her soon and would love to establish an ongoing relationship with her. (One of the things I love about Guatemala was the possibility of contact with the first family.)
My second adoption started sooner than I anticipated and went much faster. I started the process in Dec, 2007. With Guatemala no longer being an option, I chose Ethiopia. It was single friendly, older kids tend to live in orphanages for short times (with family before that) and are well cared for, and there's the possibility of birth family contact. Medina came home in July, 2008 at 7 years of age. I have some questions about her history and am in the process of searching for her family with an independent searcher. I can have contact via the agency and initial orphanage but I want contact outside of the orphanage since I think they (as opposed to the agency) are responsible for the inaccuracies in her story.
If my marriage had worked out, I'm sure adoption would have never even crossed my mind. While I'll never be glad that my marriage failed, I'm so glad that I found my way to adoption and my two amazing daughters.
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Permalink Reply by Tricia B on
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Hi my name is Tricia and I guess you could say I have the best of both worlds. After our first two biological children we were told we couldn't have anymore only to be suprised by the fact that I was actually pregnant at the time they told me that. We figured that they messed up something and thought we'd try right away for a fourth. Six years later we decided that maybe they were infact right. Adoption has always been something we've talked about even before our children were born. We started having more and more converstations about it but there was so much to consider and decide....foster to adopt, private adoption, financing the adoption (honestly if I waited for money I wouldn't have any kids), it seemed that one of those always held us back from moving forward. Then the feeling that the time was here was so overwhelming that I could no longer avoid it I contacted a friend I had at an agency and told her we were ready. She actually called me back within a day or two to tell me that they had a birth mother that hadn't placed she was in town and would we like to meet her. My gut was screaming "this is him!!" and my mind was screaming "Holy Cow---too fast too fast!" I ended up telling her that I'd have to call my husband and I'd get back to her. By the time I called her back "Sue" had chosen a family to place with. I wasn't expecting the crushing, lost feeling I had. I just kept thinking "that was him". So we just decided to move forward get our paper work done, figure out how we were going to pay for it--all that good stuff. Two days later we got a call the that the prospective family had backed out and would we like to meet "Sue"? This time there was no hesitation it was "YES YES we'd meet her".
I was so nervous! I thought my heart was going to explode--or I'd loose my lunch. Thankfully I did neither. Two minutes into the visit everything seemed natural and at ease. She decided to place with us. We ended up having the opportunity for her to live with us for the last 2 1/2 months of her pregnancy.
I never anticipated all the many emotions that come with adopting. I was nervous, anxious, excited, worried, how would the bonding go? Would it seem natural? I can't even put into words the emotion and feeling that envoloped me when this little sweet boy entered into this world. I remember looking at him and thinking "He's mine! He's home!"
I am so thankful for his birth mom's decision---when so many choose to handle an unplanned pregnancy differently---she was selfless. She is amazing! There is no way for her to really understand what a wonderful gift she has given us, and him.
The emotions and experience of adopting are so different--not that one is better than the other---they are just so different. The bond was immediate nothing was more natural. He is the apple of everyone's eye.
And when he can't sleep and my arm is scrunched in between the slats of his crib so I can hold his little hand until he falls asleep. I look at his sweet face and think how he really always belonged in my heart---he just came a different way.
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