Adopting Older Kids

Information

Adopting an older child can be a challenge. It can also be a wonderful experience. Share what it is like to adopt a child older than 3.

Members: 95
Latest Activity: Jul 20

Started by Shannon Feist. Last reply by Melissa Cooper Jul 14.

Started by Sandra Nardoni. Last reply by Sandra Nardoni Jun 21.

Started by Deborah Mumm. Last reply by Deborah Mumm Mar 29.

Comment

Comment by Deborah Mumm on July 18, 2010 at 8:03pm: There are no standard regulations on costs for international adoption and I agree, it is a problem. I am afraid a lot of the money we spend on adoption in foreign countries is never seen at the orphanages...which angers me. Hang in there with the foster care system though....I have heard there are healthy kids out there! It may require a lot of patience.

Comment by Becki on July 18, 2010 at 6:56pm: Because I am adopting as a single mom on FL, I prefer to adopt a girl 4-10. Because of the cost of international adoption, I have no choice but to go through the American Foster Care System. Why is international so expensive $30,000+? And why do states allow these poor kids to stay in the foster care system for years, before they can be adopted into loving homes? Every child my foster care case worker has presented to me has been over the age of 10, and has so many severe problems, I've had to say no. Are most of you experiancing these problems?

Comment by Scott Edward Blumenthal on July 18, 2010 at 8:01am: My wife and I have not adopted a child over age 3...actually this is a point of disagreement between us. She would prefer to adopt a child age 3 or under...while I would be willing to adopt a child age 6 or under

Comment by Sarah N Knapp on July 14, 2010 at 8:39am: Hello, I am just beginning the adoption process. ie contacting the state for a homestudy and whatnot. I will more than likely be adopting an older child. anywhere between 5 and 12. A girl. Any advise would be more than helpful!!!

Comment by Gabrielle Person on June 13, 2010 at 7:18pm: I wanted to let everyone know that this last week, my husband and I accepted the referral of Angelika (9) and Jarek (8) from Poland! We're officially "expecting!"

Comment by Jackie G. on May 30, 2010 at 1:19pm: We hadn't planned on adopting an older child, but when we received the email about Danny and saw his beautiful picture...we immediately said we wanted our profile to be presented to his first parents. 3 days later, we spoke to them on the phone, one week later we met them in Virginia and 3 weeks later he was home with us.
His adjustment issues came to the forefront in his school work. Everyone told us we needed to send him to counseling, but my sister gave me the best advice...First she said..DON'T PANIC! Second she said, YOU WORK WITH CHILDREN EVERY DAY (we're both teachers)....
BE CONSISTENT WITH DISCIPLINE,
DON'T ALLOW HIM TO BE DISRESPECTFUL,
COME UP WITH A DAILY SCHEDULE,
RULES AND CONSEQUENCES.
DON'T SEND HIM TO A PSYCHIATRIST! HE WON'T RESPECT YOU IF YOU GIVE YOUR POWER TO AN OUTSIDER.
She was absolutely right! He had to learn to trust us and respect us before he could learn to love us. He is now a happy, well-adjusted, smart little boy and is doing amazingly well in school! Everyone is amazed at how different he is from a year ago.

Comment by Tracye Martin on May 23, 2010 at 5:44pm: LOVE WITHOUT BOUNDARIES:
The Question of International Adoption for Older Children

The adoption community has been abuzz lately about topics concerning the adoption of older children. So many older children in China live in both foster care and orphanages, just waiting for families of their own. While China is home to them and is all they have ever known, life as an orphaned child without a family name or hukou papers is bound to hold many challenges and can be a stigma that is difficult to overcome. However, being adopted and adjusting to a new family, new language and a new culture as a child about to enter the preteen or teen years is a daunting challenge as well.

So we would like to know what your thoughts are on the topic of international adoption for older children. Please vote in our poll and tell us more about what you think!

Comment by David & Donna Strainick on May 22, 2010 at 4:06am: Latest POST Institute Vibe newsletter focusing on Adoption issues. Please share with others. http://ning.it/dqCqqk

Comment by Deborah Mumm on April 30, 2010 at 6:47pm: If they are meant to be yours, it will all work out! Best of luck to you. How exciting.

Comment by Gabrielle Person on April 30, 2010 at 6:25pm: We may be adopting an 8 and 9 year old pair of siblings (girl and boy) from Poland. We've got the referral and are waiting for more information to see if they're right for us and us for them.