Dealing with family and friends

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Comment by Gabrielle Person on June 13, 2010 at 7:18pm

I just had to deal with the same "relative" that said jingoistic things before. She's not really family. She's the mother or grandmother of my brother-in-law so thankfully, I don't see her all that often. The first time, when I said we were adopting from Russia, it was "Why do you want to adopt foreigners?" And today, I got more of the same thing. "There are kids that need help...." I told her that some are called to adopt internationally and God loves his "foreign" children to. There are MANY orphans in the world and He needs some to love those not in this country, or words to that effect. Fortunately, it was a short interaction. She even asked their names later. (We were at a baby shower for my sister-in-law who is having my 3rd niece. I already have 7 nephews!)

Comment by Laura C on May 20, 2010 at 6:16pm

We adopted two small children from the County in which we reside. We took our classes and planned for certification and home preparedness. My families reaction as far as that goes was different at different stages in the process. We really had to educate others about adoption as a way to form a family and the "special needs of our children". They worried about the risk of adoption in this manner becuase the first goal is allways reunification. By the time the TPR was said and done it had been almost 3 years and the baby was 4 now. It would have been a tremendous loss. Our family's wanted us to have the kids adopted too but what a risk. I had bio children of my own from my 1st marriage but my husband and I had no children. There also were no children in my husbands siblings. It was alot of pressure and then a dream was realized. I know now that support of family is a blessing but no one understands like other foster-adoptive and adoptive parents.

Comment by Ola Zuri on February 7, 2010 at 12:11am

What a fabulous way to start out the New Year - another great book review!! Check out the link below: http://www.examiner.com/x-20410-Rochester-Adoptive-Families-Examiner~y2010m2d4-Adoption-Book-Review-Why-Cant-You-Look-Like-Me#

Comment by Ola Zuri on January 8, 2010 at 10:43am

My name is Ola Zuri and I would like to introduce you to a new children’s book series that will help to solve a problem. Recently published, Where Do I Belong?, is the second book in the series with topics relating to transracial adoption, foster care, racism, fitting in, questions about family, racial identity, and most of all, self esteem and self confidence. The inspiration for these stories has stemmed from my own personal experiences as a transracial adoptee and the various areas of difficulty that have been discussed with me by other adoptees, adoptive parents and birth parents. Check out my blog at www.blackoasisent.blogspot.com

Comment by Glenn Sanders on December 13, 2009 at 12:18am

I just posted to our adoption blog about how the media treats adoption and adoptive families: http://thesandersbaby.blogspot.com/2009/12/why-is-lukes-last-name-skywalker.html

Comment by Angie Sanders on November 30, 2009 at 1:25am

Well, Thanksgiving stories to share dealing with family and friends?

Comment by Rebecca Palomino on October 11, 2009 at 7:13am

WOW! Sorry to hear that. My neighbors and friends seem to be supportive. But when it came to family, FORGET IT! If onely everyone came with a built in compassionate chip. "If only"

Comment by Angie Sanders on October 10, 2009 at 7:26pm

A long time friend of more than 20 years, who's three (biological) children I have helped raised, has chosen to "sit this one out" and won't be coming to our baby shower because she feels "uncomfortable" with it. Since she says "conventional wisdom and Emily Post" thinks we should wait until the baby comes. She says she will throw us one once the baby arrives. I'm shocked, angry and do deeply hurt. Devastated, really. She chooses to let her discomfort be bigger than her love and support for us?! This is someone who is very liberal and open minded. I'm really can't believe it. She told me in an email and both my husband and I have written emails back we have not sent. We are just trying to process it. Why can't people just be supportive of adoptive parents and do what every makes us happy and want to be there for us? They just don't get it.

Comment by Rebecca Palomino on October 10, 2009 at 4:14pm

Thank you. I hope that she does come around.

Comment by Angie Sanders on October 10, 2009 at 4:05pm

So sorry Rebecca. I know how much you were fearing your mom's reaction. I know it hurts. Time and patience.

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