Adoption Voices

Dealing with family and friends


Dealing with family and friends

How to deal with the pain that comes from the inability of our close ones to understand and support us in this process? Is there A NEED FOR A TERMINOLOGY BOOK? Do and Dont's book?

Members: 41
Latest Activity: Jan 11, 2013

Discussion Forum

Do you discuss the adoption with family & friends prior to adoption 5 Replies

Started by Kevin Hofmann. Last reply by Rebecca Palomino Oct 26, 2009.

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Comment by Laura C on May 20, 2010 at 6:16pm
We adopted two small children from the County in which we reside. We took our classes and planned for certification and home preparedness. My families reaction as far as that goes was different at different stages in the process. We really had to educate others about adoption as a way to form a family and the "special needs of our children". They worried about the risk of adoption in this manner becuase the first goal is allways reunification. By the time the TPR was said and done it had been almost 3 years and the baby was 4 now. It would have been a tremendous loss. Our family's wanted us to have the kids adopted too but what a risk. I had bio children of my own from my 1st marriage but my husband and I had no children. There also were no children in my husbands siblings. It was alot of pressure and then a dream was realized. I know now that support of family is a blessing but no one understands like other foster-adoptive and adoptive parents.
Comment by Ola Zuri on February 7, 2010 at 12:11am
What a fabulous way to start out the New Year - another great book review!! Check out the link below:
Comment by Ola Zuri on January 8, 2010 at 10:43am
My name is Ola Zuri and I would like to introduce you to a new children’s book series that will help to solve a problem. Recently published, Where Do I Belong?, is the second book in the series with topics relating to transracial adoption, foster care, racism, fitting in, questions about family, racial identity, and most of all, self esteem and self confidence. The inspiration for these stories has stemmed from my own personal experiences as a transracial adoptee and the various areas of difficulty that have been discussed with me by other adoptees, adoptive parents and birth parents. Check out my blog at
Comment by Glenn Sanders on December 13, 2009 at 12:18am
I just posted to our adoption blog about how the media treats adoption and adoptive families:
Comment by A Sande on November 30, 2009 at 1:25am
Well, Thanksgiving stories to share dealing with family and friends?
Comment by Rebecca Palomino on October 11, 2009 at 7:13am
WOW! Sorry to hear that. My neighbors and friends seem to be supportive. But when it came to family, FORGET IT! If onely everyone came with a built in compassionate chip. "If only"
Comment by A Sande on October 10, 2009 at 7:26pm
A long time friend of more than 20 years, who's three (biological) children I have helped raised, has chosen to "sit this one out" and won't be coming to our baby shower because she feels "uncomfortable" with it. Since she says "conventional wisdom and Emily Post" thinks we should wait until the baby comes. She says she will throw us one once the baby arrives. I'm shocked, angry and do deeply hurt. Devastated, really. She chooses to let her discomfort be bigger than her love and support for us?! This is someone who is very liberal and open minded. I'm really can't believe it. She told me in an email and both my husband and I have written emails back we have not sent. We are just trying to process it. Why can't people just be supportive of adoptive parents and do what every makes us happy and want to be there for us? They just don't get it.
Comment by Rebecca Palomino on October 10, 2009 at 4:14pm
Thank you. I hope that she does come around.
Comment by A Sande on October 10, 2009 at 4:05pm
So sorry Rebecca. I know how much you were fearing your mom's reaction. I know it hurts. Time and patience.
Comment by Rebecca Palomino on October 10, 2009 at 11:36am
We live in such a racist world. If we could only snap our fingers and wish it all away!

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