Adoption Voices

My friend who has been fostering for 22yrs has found herself in a desperate situation.
She has a foster baby who has been in her home over 2yrs from birth.
The agency has piddled around with this case and neglected to go permanent custody when there clearly was a right to do so.
Now that they have waited so long, a relative who lives in another state has came forward on behalf of the father, who will be in prison for next 6 yrs.
This is the very woman who raised him.
She has been aware of the situation for over 2 yrs and did nothing.
She is 65 yrs old.
My friend wants custody of the baby.
Her husband does not.
Does anyone know if you can adopt with only consent of 1 parent?

Views: 3

Replies to This Discussion

Sometimes they will allow one parent to adopt and the other to have guardianship. However if this woman does not have the full support of her husband then maybe she should reconsider the situation. One of my sons was in that very position his previous foster mom wanted to adopt the previous foster dad did not. We believe its because he was meant to be in our home. He has flourished in our home!! We also had the birthfathers mom come forward after 2 years also. DCFS was like where were you all this time? But her state denied ICPC. And we think she may not have passed the back ground check but were not ever really told. In my state they would consider the best welfare of the child and if this person is coming forward is not in a position to really care for the baby (She is to old, or has a criminal record, or what ever) then they would not give her much consideration. If the relative is from a different state they would also have to have ICPC (Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children) clearance from the AG from the other state before they would even move forward. There are some situations that the AG won't even consider and they deny ICPC. Hope that helps some.
You need to make sure your lawyer stress the point you have more of a kinship with this baby then anyone in the fathers family. The child is bonded to you and your family that it could cause harm and attachment issues if removed from your home. If your friends husband is not on board then she should let that be know. If in 2 yrs he has not bonded with that child enough to adopt then he never will. This would not be fair to the child.
Hi -

Please know I am not trying to be a downer and maybe it varies from county to county but I started my home study process in February (got my placement Aug5th) and I am fairly certain (99.9%) that if everybody in the home does not want this then they will not give it. I am not married but I do have a teenage son and they had questioned/examined him thoroughly to make sure he was ok with it me adopting. He will be off to college in a year but even still if he had been against it they would not have given me a placement until after he left.

- If your friend's husband is fine with fostering then they will continue to let them foster but I just don’t think they will allow her to adopt unless the entire household supports it.

- As for the relative, if she passes a home study they will consider her (depending on where this relative lives the age may disqualify her, although sometimes age criteria is waived for family members). Ohio has recently taken a new position to place the child with birth family members first. This scenario costs the individual counties less money. When they place with non-family member they have to pay for out of home care (monthly stipend) but when they place with a birth family they usually don't pay that. And depending on the county that can save them over $600 - $700 per month. Ohio just slashed the budget for ODJFS significantly and so that may impact some of these kinds of decisions.

- I will pray for your friend and the child, but I agree with another poster that said if hubby doesn’t want, then it may not be in the best interest of the child or your friend. If she is able to do this and hubby is resentful; that will make for a tense house to live in for all of them and not in anyone's best interest.




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