Late 30's & 40 Something

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Comment by Gabrielle Person on June 13, 2010 at 7:22pm

I'm 38 and I just might become a mom this year! Last week, my husband and I accepted the referral of Angelika (9) and Jarek (8) from Poland! We're officially "expecting!" We could have 2 children before Christmas!

Comment by Margaret Morton on May 14, 2010 at 6:44pm

Oh, and we are now on the http://galleries.thefirstglimpse.com/ website - so you can see my announcements there. I get all tingly when I see them.

Comment by Margaret Morton on May 14, 2010 at 6:43pm

I wanted to let you all know about a woman on the net that I used for our adoption announcements. http://galleries.thefirstglimpse.com/ Alicia did such an amazing job of our announcements. they are keepsakes by us and all that received them. If you want to celebrate with a great announcement you should definitely give her a try. Worth every penny.

Comment by Jennifer WP on April 24, 2010 at 3:16am

Oh yeah, grown up stuff - watch your favorite TV shows, go out to a movie that doesn't have a PG rating, (my most recent movie? Princess and the Frog) eat at restuarants that don't have paper table covers and crayons, enjoy a living room free of primary colored plastic kiddie cr*p, air unscented by a diaper pail, wear clothing unadorned by spaghetti sauce or jammy handprints..... I remember those days LOL
Oh yeah, and have s*x because sleep deprivation, screams eminating from the baby monitor, or a third person snoozing beween you (and hogging most of the bed, how does a 20 pound child do that?) kind of kills the mood, if you have managed to get into it.
Jennifer

Comment by Margaret Morton on April 23, 2010 at 7:29pm

I`ve said it in here before too... get in shape. Lift weights, focus on core strength, back, shoulders! I hurt both shoulders with my little ones when they were first home and I was a very very very strong healthy body builder. But you lift kids differently. they wiggle and jump and change from day to day. My youngest is now 3 yrs. 4 months and still in his need for love and attention has me lift and carry him regularly. He`s 47 pounds (my future 6`6`boy). Rest and do all you can as a person without children now.

Comment by Mary Adair on April 22, 2010 at 5:54am

Thanks so much Jennifer. I think I'm a little like you. Right now the worry is getting to China...It almost seems impossible right now. After almost 48 how can I even imagine a little one at my house? The money right now is the thing that is freaking me out....how will I come up with the rest to take to China? It's just totally beyond conprehension at this time. I think when referrals get to a month or so away...it will hopefully start to be real. All I've done in the past 4 years is talk about it. With no real proof of anything happening. That's just so hard right now. It will seem surreal when it does happen. Did you feel like it was a dream when it happened? I'm sure I have more questions...so I will write later. Thanks again Jennifer. Mary

Comment by Jennifer WP on April 22, 2010 at 2:30am

Doubts a plenty. I tend to worry things to death and adoption gives you plenty to obsess about. Will they be healthy? Will they attach? Will I love them? Will we be able to afford this and not spend retirement eating cat food? Wha size baby clothes should I buy?
Honestly our older dd had about the world's worst referral pictures, hanging limply in a bouncer, blank faced. I thought serious delays, brain damage, you name it. I felt physically sick having to make a decision based on this picture, but we did make a leap of faith. She was motor skill delayed having spent a year lieing on her back , and we got her PT. It took about 6 months to get our first real smile. Now we have a budding Olympic athlete who is already reading in Kindergarten.
AND - the first couple years are not a picnic. I have warned people not to expect the happy, athletic, verbal kid that she is now, you are getting a child who has had little personal attention, may have language deficits, motor skill delays, takes a couple of years to get into a sleep pattern, BUT for 95% of the kids soming home, you will get there. Just don't expect it to happen over night. Jennifer

Comment by Mary Adair on April 21, 2010 at 7:59pm

Hi All, this is for anyone that has adopted past 45 years. For me of course it has been 4 year now since I started this journey. How did it feel when you received your referral? Did you have any doubts during the waiting time? Wondering if you really could handle a child? It does give me hope to see that so many of you have children at my age. While most are sending their children to college...we are all changing diapers. That should keep everyone young for sure. I just can't wait for that day. Thanks for all your support. Mary

Comment by Mary Adair on April 21, 2010 at 3:00pm

Hi Jennifer, Thanks so much for writing...I need to hear from more of you. This really helps. There are some things I want to find out...so I am going to write you later on if that's ok...need to leave work now so I can get home to my furry kids. Thanks so much. Talk to you later. Mary

Comment by Jennifer WP on April 21, 2010 at 1:59am

Hi Mary,
you can do it. I know the wait time for CHina nsn is crazy - but with 4 years under your belt you must be gettin close. We adopted our first daughter from China nsn when I was 49, and she was 13 months, went back for her sister, waiting child program, when I was 51 and she was 2.5. They are now 5 & 6. It's been an amazing journey. I won't lie, it was a huge transistion from doing it my way for 40+ years to doing it their way. No one can really prepare you for the intensity of parenting until you are plunged into it. It can make you feel like an ignorant idiot, as in, "Why can't I make this tiny person (pick one) stop crying, sleep all night, smile, not do dumb stuff like chop off her hair, and on and on." THere will definately be momments when you think "WHAT DID WE DO???" but that will be more than outweighed by having your sweetie snuggle up to you and say 'I wov you mommy."
Since you are still waiting I'd say - get in shape! Man can they run fast, and even my 6 year old still wants me to sling her 45 pound rear up on my hip now and then. Yes, I do think about the fact that they will proably be ophans again in their 30's but I can't change that now, and I wouldn't either. Plently of bio kids go through that and I will try and prepare them as best as I can, and be prepapred - wills, life insurance, thoughtfully selected legal guardians.
Hang in there
Jennifer

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