Adoption Voices

Late 30's & 40 Something


Late 30's & 40 Something

Adopting in your late 30's or 40's.

Members: 176
Latest Activity: Feb 20

Discussion Forum

Welcome to the group! Quick Introduction 21 Replies

Started by Karen. Last reply by Stacey B Aug 17, 2011.

Hi! My introduction....

Started by Ann-Marie Jan 31, 2011.

A 40-something mother raising an FAS child from RUssia 4 Replies

Started by Mary Greene. Last reply by Mary Greene Apr 23, 2010.

Comment Wall


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Comment by Molly JD on October 16, 2012 at 2:09pm

Hi.  New the board.  I'm 33 & my wife is 40. We are hoping to start the adoption process after the new year.

Comment by Starry Eyes on August 20, 2012 at 8:23pm

Such a quiet board of late.  I thought I'd check in and see how all the waiting mature peeps are doing?  We are having a family anniversary tomorrow and will spend it at the water park and then out to dinner.   We still are not matched, but have been reviewing potential profiles for a while.  We went live with our updated HS in June 2011.  I thought there would be a new addition by now.  She's apparently not quite ready.  Soon we hope.

Comment by Starry Eyes on April 23, 2012 at 7:54pm

So this week on the adoption front at my house - no match, but lots of interest in our family to try to match.  I know it's not going to take long.  And because of that I am nesting again suddenly.  It just came over me today and while I was cleaning and decluttering again... I came across furniture that I have scattered around the house and realized that I could use a lot of what I have for a girl's room.  So now I have another few projects.  Of course I have to find that time when the boys are busy at school. 


How is everyone else doing?

Comment by Starry Eyes on April 16, 2012 at 6:49pm

Hello to the Michelles.  Michelle A. I am so sorry to hear that you have had such a hard loss in the adoption process.  The adoption labour pains are truly the worst and I hope that that little man is the angel that brings you your next child quickly. 


Again - I am 46 - DH is 50.5 (love to say that).  We 2 sons who are 5 and hope to add a daughter this year. 


I am not having the hard time waiting that others do because I have been here before and know the system and how it will eventually work for us.  Plus I do have my boys. But the anxiety some days is higher than on others.  It depends on how much time I spend out in the community with other peoples kids.  I met a gourgeous little girl the other day and it made my heart ache for my own girl.  I have loads of cousins who all seem to bring forth another baby every 10 months - recently 3 more little babies made their way into our family.  I'm not an infertile woman, I was never about birthing... I just wish someone would make me one now.  My cousins all seem pretty attached to their children.  \


Do you ever feel that youth is so wasted on the young?  They just don't know how to appreciate it.  Off to give myself a facial and pedi.  Have a wonderful evening. 


Chat away.  I'll take part if you will.

Comment by Michelle A. on April 10, 2012 at 3:32am

Hi Michelle, my name is Michelle.  I may be in a similar situation as yourself.  I am 41 now and still waiting to welcome our first baby.  We recently experienced a devastating time.  We were matched...went through terrible ups and downs with the birthmom, went through with placement and "our" son was in our home for over a month.  Before the Pennsylvania law of 30 days to revoke after signed consent was up....the BM changed her mind.  It has felt like a death.  We miss him terribly yet, there is nothing we can do.  We could never give up on our dream.  We feel more ready than ever now.  It was all in our hands one minute, then gone.   I still have faith in adoption and I believe there are reasons for things that sometimes aren't clear at the time.  I'd love to know how you are advertising.  We have been solely with a small agency that has rather smaller groups of adoptive parents and birthmothers. 


Like you there is nothing I have every wanted more in my life to be a mom!  I always have felt it is that one piece that is missing in me.

Comment by Michelle & Rob on April 9, 2012 at 11:26am

Hi Im new here. I'm soon to be 41and still hoping to find our baby to adopt. My husband and I are doing domestic independent adoption. We have been advertising for a year now with no luck :-( Hopefully this year will be our year. To become a mom would be the best gift in the world as I have wanted nothing so badly in my life. Anyway in anyone here cares to chat I would love to.

Comment by Laura Drinkwine on March 8, 2012 at 10:05am

I agree...I became a mom at 43 and for lots of reasons, I'm glad it happened at that time.  LOTS more wisdom (not always right though), but even more confidence AND a better sense of purpose and priority.  LOVE IT!!!!

Comment by Starry Eyes on March 8, 2012 at 8:15am

Congratulations Tammy.  Such a wonderful way to start a family and to be entering your 40's.  I became mom at 42 and love that I waited.  Life at 40 is so great, but life at 40 with kids is even better.

Comment by Tammy Gonzales on March 7, 2012 at 9:19pm

Hi everyone!  I am new to the group.  Our daughter was recently placed with us JUST before my 39th birthday.  We are so happy to finally be parents.  

Comment by Starry Eyes on February 6, 2012 at 1:20pm

How did it go with the name choices?  I adopted through the foster system so never think about names. the kids come with the names they were given - but I did provide super loving nick names.


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