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Website: http://adoptionvoices.com/group/No kidsyetWaiting 4 R adopted 1st childever
Members: 141
Latest Activity: Oct 29, 2012
We have been eligible to adopt for 2 1/2 years now. While we are waiting, we have kept busy by spending time with our nieces and nephews. Our youngest nephew just celebrated his 2 nd birthday and I…Continue
Started by Denise and Rolin Cosper. Last reply by Sans Pareil Center Oct 29, 2012.
Hi.Just wondering if anyone knows how to adopt a safe-haven baby? We are not foster parents, so maybe that disqualifies us. But yeh, any information would be appreciated.Thanks!~JudiContinue
Started by Judi B.. Last reply by Lisa Sweet Jan 16, 2012.
Hello, Everyone!I’m just wondering what constitutes advertising… especially in states where advertising is not allowed. Basically I’m wanting to give our pass-along cards to friends to give out, but…Continue
Started by Judi B.. Last reply by Hal Kaufman Jan 9, 2012.
Comment
Comment by Cathryn and Brent on March 9, 2011 at 4:23pm
Comment by Daniel Welz on March 9, 2011 at 1:57pm
Comment by Little Blessings Adoption Srvcs on February 18, 2011 at 9:52am
Comment by Little Blessings Adoption Srvcs on February 14, 2011 at 7:22pm
Comment by Judi B. on February 14, 2011 at 7:13pm Exciting! Hope all goes well for you! Keep us in touch!
~Judi
Comment by Suzanne on February 14, 2011 at 5:38pm This afternoon we heard back that the expectant mother has selected us. It is our first potential match, so we're being cautiously optimistic. We are awaiting a fax or email with the medical information. Once we view the medical information, we are supposed to have a meeting.
The facilitator has been working with the family since the mom was about 2mo into the pregnancy. She is due July 31. Mom is 17 and we don't yet know how old dad is. This is her second child - she is parenting the first who is a toddler. They live within an hour of us. According to the facilitator the maternal grandmother is VERY involved ... so I'm not sure what that means. I truly hope it is not a situation where here mother is pushing her into an adoption plan. If we get that sense, it will definitely not be the right situation for us.
I don't know what to think ... anything stand out to anyone or give you thoughts on specific questions to ask when we meet? Thank you so much ... I'm a little in shock right now about how this came about.
Comment by Little Blessings Adoption Srvcs on February 11, 2011 at 4:55pm
Comment by Suzanne on February 10, 2011 at 1:36pm Thanks so much everyone! I hope it didn't come across that I was not happy with AdoptHelp ... they've been amazing to us. They do have really great communication ... our wonderful caseworker gives us an update monthly of how many times our profile was viewed, if we were in the top three of anyone, and general feedback. Our profile was done in September by Sharon at Forever Family Designs and thus far the feedback on it has been really positive too.
This facilitator situation came out of left field for us. We are not signed up with her or any facilitator ... just with AdoptHelp. The facilitator contacted the agency that did our home study and the agency felt we would be a good match so they asked if they could fwd our profile to the facilitator. The facilitator felt that we were a good match too and passed us on to the expectant mom. We think she is interested in meeting with us, so I'm just trying to adjust my expectations.
I've really only thought about a 3rd trimester match since that was all I thought we would receive ... I thought I'd heard that matches prior to that %-wise don't work out as often. It helps to hear Holly's comments that it's less about the time and more about the counseling, support, etc. The expectant woman is young ... we're not sure how young yet ... and her mom is extremely supportive of her decision and the facilitator says is with her every step of the way.
Holly, do you mind sharing what facilitator you used? I did some research on this particular one and she gets high marks from people on both sides of the adoption for her honesty and professionalism. I'm hoping that bodes well.
Thanks!!
Comment by Cathryn and Brent on February 8, 2011 at 8:10pm
Comment by Little Blessings Adoption Srvcs on February 8, 2011 at 5:03pm Suzanne,
I have done profiles for several couples using AdoptHelp, and so far they seemed pretty pleased with the communication and match times. In regards to this situation coming from a facilitator, who is the facilitator? What kind of reputation do they have? Has she/he talked with the birthmother at length, done an intake for on her, received medical records, photo, etc.? I would really concentrate on the facilitator here instead of the birthmom. Personally, we used a facilitator with both of our adoptions and matched in the 1st trimester, and all went well. No hiccups or problems - it went pretty smoothly. I understand AdoptHelp and other agencies saying they only match in the last trimester, but there is still no guarantee with that either. The ongoing counseling, preparation, support system, potential red flags to look for, and intake with good questions asked is far more important than the time frame of pregnancy. I have heard many say that when a match occurs early on and if it is open, the couple and birthparents can establish a relationship, which helps them all feel more comfortable and at peace with the adoption plan. I know that was the case for us. We were able to support our birthmothers throughout their pregnancy, both emotionally and financially. We were able to get to know them which made us all more comfortable. We were also very involved in the pregnancy, going to the 1st ultrasound which was great, as well as doctor appointments. That are many factors to weigh in deciding to move forward with a decision, and in my opinion there are others far more important than stage of pregnancy. Gather facts, look at pros and cons, and try to make the best educated decision you can. Best wishes to you in whatever you decide! :) ~Holly
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