No kids yet. Waiting 4 R adopted 1st child ever.

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Comment by Sharon Ramsey on September 29, 2009 at 11:56pm

It went great today. I think this is it. We might just have kids by Xmas yet. I'm tired right now so this will be shorter than most of my missives have been of late but our appt. went well and I think this agency will work out just fine. They were fine with everything and they couldn't understand why this other agency had any problem with us at all.

Comment by Lynn Steffanos on September 29, 2009 at 7:15am

Angella....I don't think there is anything wrong with having a shower before you receive your baby. As a matter of fact the majority of the showers I have went to lately have been before the birth. A pregnant lady is going to need to have stuff before she gives birth just like we need stuff before we receive our gift.
We need to wait due to the fact we don't know the age or sex of our child(ren). We are open to either sex and the age may vary depending on if we receive one child or two. I am feeling much better today about the wait.

Comment by Savannah on September 29, 2009 at 7:03am

There is two great articles that talk about the difference between pregnancy and adoption. Actually, I believe one was written about the difference of a regular (sorry can't think of a better word) and a special needs child, but I can't remember which article. Last year I posted them both on my infertility blog. You can check them out at http://because-i-cant-have-babies.blogspot.com/2008/12/italy-vs-holland.html.

Comment by Savannah on September 29, 2009 at 7:01am

Glenn, I'll have to gets hubs on here, I think he would enjoy that.

Comment by Glenn Sanders on September 28, 2009 at 10:32pm

if I might promote a group I just started... The Adoptive Dads Man Cave. a place for soon to be and already dads to hang out and talk man stuff with respect to adoption. it's like a poker game combined with a movie night and there's a big game on and everyone brought snacks. or something like that.
http://adoptionvoices.com/group/adoptivedadsmancave

Comment by Angie Sanders on September 28, 2009 at 9:35pm

Thanks Sharon! I will have the shower and it enjoy it!

Comment by Sharon Ramsey on September 28, 2009 at 9:23pm

Angela, I hope your shower goes just the way you want it. I have a room prepared for children. I don't necessarily want a baby to adopt, but I understand the need for a shower. I do want one also, but I want it after my children arrive simply because I don't know what age God's children are for me yet. As you want an infant you do know and can prepare for one. One way of explaining adoption to others is that while others go through pregnancy in one way biologically others go through it another way along a different path that God takes them on a spiritual one but no less a path to a child who is theirs just as much given to them by God as a biological one. We are all children of God. I love a story that Max Lucado gives, how different children come into families, some are born into them and are loved dearly but others are adopted. He was called as the Pastor of his church by a family who had a baby who needed to find a good home, it so happened he knew of a couple in his church who desperately wanted a child to adopt. He said whenever you saw that couple with that baby you never doubted how much that child was loved. That's like us in the family of God we are adopted into God's family, even though we are not jews, he loves us just as much because we love his Son. That is what adoption is. You are preparing your home and your heart, that is why you are having a baby shower to prepare just like a bio mom does. Maybe if you explain it that way or a portion of it. Sorry for the length, just couldn't shorten it.

Comment by Angie Sanders on September 28, 2009 at 8:42pm

I'm feeling hurt and very distant from my friends tonight. They really don't understand the process of adoption or the feelings that I'm experiencing. I know they love me and are happy for me but just don't get it and still can say things that hurt. My friend who is throwing me a baby shower says people have been asking "Why is she having it before the baby comes." She used words like "unusual", "odd", "bizarre" to describe having one now and not after the a baby comes. It hurt my feelings. Aren't I entitled to have one when I want one and not worry about people judging me? Some people don't want to have one until the baby comes. That's fine for them. It makes me happy to be prepared and ready for when the baby arrives because it could be anytime. We've been waiting almost a year now and I'm well aware it could be another year or so. But we will get a baby and she said "if" you get one. She thinks I might be depressed with all the stuff around me. I've already told her how happy it makes me to have the baby's room together. It really made my husband and I feel sad and I cried thinking I wish she and all my friends would just be so happy for me and want to throw me a shower and treat me like a normal mom-to-be. But I guess adoption is just not normal for most folks and it's hard to understand. It also brings up more feelings of loss. I don't even know what more I want to say. Just had to vent. Thanks for being there.

Comment by Lynn Steffanos on September 28, 2009 at 8:25pm

Thank you all for your support. It is very helpful.

Comment by Angie Sanders on September 28, 2009 at 8:19pm

Lynn, You are a beautiful child of God! Please do not start thinking you know why you're not being chosen. It doesn't help. The right family and baby will come your way. Keep faith.
Sarah, you are right, you are not alone! We are all here for each other!
Sharon, I do hope and pray this is the right agency for you and your can get further on in your journey.
Lynn, I'm so sorry for your losses and disappointments. You are an angel to be there for you niece the way you are. I honestly, don't know if I could be. Just remember everyone has their own journey and lessens to learn.
Savannah, you are always such a bright light!
I'm just feeling so full awe for all of you!!!

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