Transracial Adoption

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Comment by Julie Paretti on June 21, 2009 at 4:07pm

Hi!! I'm Julie - my hubby and I have two kids - both adopted domestically. Our son is Hispanic but looks a lot like my hubby so most people don't realize that he's adopted. Our daughter is AA. We do get looks and a lot of questions. I read a lot of articles about the "rude" questions that folks ask. I tend to not think of them as rude, but as curious. And I'm very proud of our adoption stories so am happy to share and educate those who seem interested.

Over the last year our daughter has started to notice that she is "different" than the rest of her family so that is bringing new challenges. We point out that we are all different in some way and we are also all the same. That our family is extra special and SHE is extra-extra special. Our son is kind of oblivious to the whole thing. It's not a big deal to him. It's an open topic in our house but when we periodically, purposely bring up topics, he answers the question and moves on.

Comment by Holly Kaufman on June 21, 2009 at 11:59am

Hey, all. Thanks for sharing your families. My husband and I are blessed to be the parents of two precious children - our daughter is biracial (caucasian/AA) and our son is AA. We do get looks sometimes when we are all out together, not as many if I am out with them by myself. I teach at the school my daughter attends, and this past year (kindergarten) did bring some questions from her classmates, especially since they see me in the building each day and I am active in her class as a parent. They were not shy in asking why Nikki is a different color than me. We have always talked to Nikki about our different colors, and how we are all just people, God's children. When our son was born in January and we were able to have him since birth, her classmates were able to see that he is a different color, too, but that we are a family. It kind of made them part of the process, being with Nikki as she became a big sister. We just try to make sure that we are open and educate people as much as possible, and are also open to others sharing stories and advice with us.

Comment by Pam Crawford on June 21, 2009 at 7:20am

Hello.
I'm Pam. We have 2 biological children (ages 14 and 12), one daughter adopted from India (7 1/2) and one daughter adopted through the foster system (4 1/2). Our youngest is half Hispanic/AA. Glad to join the group!

Comment by Elena on June 21, 2009 at 12:28am

Hi all. I'm Elena and I'm a happy mama in a multi-cultural family. DH is caucasian, I am hispanic, and our living kids are both black (full AA). Nice to meet you all.

Comment by Jennifer Russell on June 20, 2009 at 2:32pm

I have two beautiful girls!! Our oldest if Hispanic/AA and our youngest is AA. God has truly blessed us with our girls.

Comment by Rebecca Jones on June 20, 2009 at 2:18pm

I can totally relate to the HAIR!!!! LOL

Kirsten, all 4 of my kids are adopted and all bi-racial (black/white). After our first son was adopted I specifically requested another black or bi-racial child for the reason you described--to have someone to identify with. The older two kids (now ages 13 and 9), to be honest, haven't seemed to really rely on each other for support--yet. However, the 9 year old is very, very helpful when it comes to educating her younger brothers (almost 5). For example, she read them a book about MLK and said, "Boys, I know this wasn't the most exciting book but it is a very important part of your heritage." And then she proceded to tell them what life might have been like if not for Martin Luther King. So I really appreciate that they do have each other.

On the other hand, I have a friend with a biological white boy (16), an adopted white girl (14), a Hispanic adopted boy (13), a black adopted girl (11),
a Hispanic adopted boy (5), and a biological bi-racial girl (6 months). Truly a rainbow family, and it works for her!

But as for having two adopted children, my 2 cents is to have them be the same race.

Comment by Kirsten Knode on June 20, 2009 at 1:49pm

We are hoping to adopt a baby boy due in October who is African America/Caucasian. I'm so glad I found this group. Thanks especially for the Youtube info. I've been looking all over for advice. A question I had was should we be concerned about having only one transracial child? We were really only planning on having two kids (all we can afford to adopt), but I've heard several people tell me that if you have one transracial child, you really should have two. That way the child will have someone to identify with. Anybody have comments on that?

Comment by Kimberly Laycock Middleton on June 20, 2009 at 11:01am

Micah, I subscribed to the same channel on youtube to learn about hair care as well. She is amazing. The AA women in my neighborhood have been very complimentary, and have sometimes asked ME for advice! I didn't imagine that would ever happen. I live where there is a large AA population, and I have learned just to open my mouth and ask questions. At the clinic one day, a mother was putting beads in her daughter's hair. I asked if I could watch and learn, and she was happy to oblige. Another mother chimed in, and soon we were having a fun time together.

Comment by Joy Cody on June 19, 2009 at 2:15pm

I'm Joy, married to Jeremy and mom to 14 month old Edith. We're starting to do hair and I use unrefined shea butter and finger comb her hair so we don't have a mad baby :) The shea butter moisturizes her hair and really brings out her curls!

Comment by Kerri on June 19, 2009 at 12:57pm

I'm a single mom to two daughters, one of Maya ancestry from Guatemala and one from Ethiopia. We do get some attention but since I'm always alone with my girls (no dad in our family) I'm always amazed at how many people assume they're my bio kids.

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