Adoption Voices

Nicola Marshall
  • Female
  • Birmingham
  • United Kingdom
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Nicola Marshall posted blog posts
Apr 17
Nicola Marshall posted a blog post

Letting go and holding on....

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on” – Henry EllisThere are many decisions we have to make every day.  What breakfast to eat, what to wear, what to do with our time, where to go, who to see – loads of things that seem quite small and insignificant. There are also the decisions we take about our attitudes, feelings and perspectives that we will adopt for that day or in any given situation.  There are many decisions on what to let go of and what to hold…See More
Feb 14
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Nicola Marshall posted blog posts
Feb 6
Nicola Marshall posted a blog post

I just want to be normal

“I’m not like other 9 years old”, “I don’t have a normal family”, “I’m not a normal parent”……on and on – our children may say it, we may say it but this week this concept of being ‘normal’ has struck me in two different ways.Before I mention what those two ways are let’s explore the word normal. It’s always grated on me when I hear people use that word – What is normal?? I heard Jairek Robbins speak last year (son of the American infamous coach and personal development guru). Jairek talked…See More
Jan 30
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Nicola Marshall posted a blog post

Under scrutiny

Since I’ve become a parent I’ve been aware of the feeling of being under scrutiny from others. Whether this is a ‘normal’ feeling as a parent or something unique to adoption I don’t know. Of course none of us as parents know what we’re doing most of the time, at least we feel like we don’t. We may have had great role models in our own parents but still struggle with the confusion that is parenting. Should we let them watch TV or not? Is shouting allowed or must we always be calm? How honest can…See More
Jan 16
1 Comment
Nicola Marshall posted a blog post

Generosity.....can it be acquired?

Generosity – you either have it or you don’t, it can not be acquired.I heard this statement on the radio today and it made me stop and think – is that true – can you learn to be generous or is it something you are born with? Actually you could say that about most attributes we have as humans – can you learn them? Are there things you can do that will cultivate good practice and generate the kind of person you want to be?They do say we’re a product of our past and whilst I believe our past has a…See More
Dec 20, 2011
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Nicola Marshall posted a blog post

Generosity.....can it be acquired?

Generosity – you either have it or you don’t, it can not be acquired.I heard this statement on the radio today and it made me stop and think – is that true – can you learn to be generous or is it something you are born with? Actually you could say that about most attributes we have as humans – can you learn them? Are there things you can do that will cultivate good practice and generate the kind of person you want to be?They do say we’re a product of our past and whilst I believe our past has a…See More
Dec 17, 2011
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Nicola Marshall posted a blog post

The healing powers of laughter

I absolutely love watching and hearing my kids laugh! Children know how to really laugh. Something happens to us adults after a certain age where we become respectable with our laughter – we smile, make a short sound like “huh” or even a giggle BUT when you see a child really laugh from the bottom of their bellies it’s a different thing. I remember laughing so hard when I was a child that my stomach hurt and no sound was coming out my mouth – in fact I laugh that hard as much as I can now…See More
Oct 24, 2011
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Adoptive Legacy commented on Nicola Marshall's blog post "They are just like any other kids"
"Thank you SO MUCH for sharing that resource. I have a child with RAD and another with ODD. I always appreciate any NEW info I can find of both subjects. I'm excited to read his eBook. Also, I agree with you that it's "not the…"
Oct 2, 2011
Rebecca Hawkes commented on Nicola Marshall's blog post "They are just like any other kids"
"Great post. Thanks for posting!"
Oct 2, 2011
Nicola Marshall commented on Nicola Marshall's blog post Mums the word
"Thanks Rebecca - it is always great to know you're not alone isn't it.  Would love to hear more of your story.  "
Sep 26, 2011
Nicola Marshall posted a blog post

"They are just like any other kids"

Having not had birth children myself I can’t say I understand parenting in the sense of how most people have a family. They conceive, have the wonderful (and painful so I’m told) experience of giving birth and then of course going through the normal stages of development with their child. They know their child and the child begins to trust them – through the reinforcement of daily needs being met by their Mum, Dad or primary caregiver the child comes to understand that needs do get met and the…See More
Sep 26, 2011
2 Comments
Rebecca Hawkes commented on Nicola Marshall's blog post Mums the word
"Great post. I can identify. And I love this part: "We can of course acknowledge their pain.  We can validate their feelings as much as we can.  We can help them with strategies of how to integrate their experiences, and we can go easy…"
Sep 24, 2011
Nicola Marshall and Rebecca Hawkes are now friends
Sep 24, 2011
Nicola Marshall joined MamaPoRuski's group
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Adoption Humor and Inspiration

Adoption can be stressful! Keeping one's sense of humor and flexibility is essential to success. Please share an adoption related, funny or touching story!
Sep 23, 2011
53 Comments
Nicola Marshall joined Deborah Mumm's group
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Adopting Older Kids

Adopting an older child can be a challenge. It can also be a wonderful experience. Share what it is like to adopt a child older than 3.See More
Sep 23, 2011
110 Comments

Profile Information

How are you touched by adoption?
adoptive parent (domestic adoption)
If you have adopted, or ar hoping to do so, which agency have you used?
Local Authority in England
If you have a website or blog you would like to share, enter the website address.
http://www.braveheartadoptionsupport.co.uk/blog
If you use Twitter, enter your Twitter address.
http://braveheartadopt
Share a little about your adoption story
My husband and I have adopted a sibling group of three adorable children just over 3 years ago. They are brilliant - challenging, exhausting, frustrating and brilliant! I've also set up my own business training teachers and those working with children to understand attachment and early trauma. I also help other adopters to make sure they look after themselves too!

Nicola Marshall's Blog

The adoptees loss

Healthy eating

I’m on a new eating plan at the moment – quite a radical one for me actually. It means I have to change my whole approach to food which has been hard. It’s made me think once again about my kids and how many radical changes they have had in their short lives. The fact that the decisions made for them are intended for the best (like my eating plan) it doesn’t mean they are easy for the children.…

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Posted on April 13, 2012 at 3:21pm

Not everyone likes the sun

It’s sunny again today and for most people there’s a sense of lightness – spring is in the air and even summer if our past summers are anything to go by. However not everyone likes the sun! There are some of us who dread the days of constant heat headaches, grumpy children wanting to water fight every five minutes and the ice cream vans on every corner.…

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Posted on April 13, 2012 at 3:18pm

"I'm being good Mum"

When we were going through the matching process for adoption I held the belief that keeping siblings together at all costs was a good thing…..I haven’t necessarily changed on this belief but I have seen areas where sibling rivalry takes a new form! All siblings argue I’m told many times by others and of course this is true. I remember fighting and arguing with my brother and have seen many others families bicker and squabble together.…

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Posted on April 13, 2012 at 3:16pm

Letting go and holding on....

Tug of war

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on” – Henry Ellis

There are many decisions we have to make every day.  What breakfast to eat, what to wear, what to do with our time, where to go, who to see – loads of things that seem quite small and insignificant. There are also the decisions we take about…

Continue

Posted on February 14, 2012 at 1:00pm

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