Adoption Voices

May 2010 Blog Posts (23)

"Children of our own"

I have spent the past week reading every adoptive couple profile I've been able to find. I'm not quite at the stage where I'm ready to get to know any family or choose one, but I wanted to hear what they were saying and learn about adoption from their perspectives.



One thing that I found in many profiles that I found pretty upsetting was a simple line. And, in fact, it wasn't so much a whole sentence as it was a single word. "We can't have children of our own."



I'm not in… Continue

Added by Kristin on May 29, 2010 at 11:12am — 19 Comments

The Fake Birth Certificate

When a child is adopted, the local government issues a new birth certificate to the family. The new birth certificate essentially obliterates evidence of the child’s past, as though it never happened. Instead of showing that a child was born to the parents who actually gave birth to her -- and then indicating that the child is… Continue

Added by Michelle on May 29, 2010 at 9:34am — 6 Comments

When to adopt again?

My husband and I are thinking of starting the process of adopting from the foster care program. I was told yesterday by a case worker in the program that we should wait until my daugther (currently four years old) is eight years old. (We brought her home from Guatemala 2 1/2 years ago and she's doing well.

While I absolutely respect the case worker's opinion, I'd like to get others as well.

Thank you,

Lisa

Added by Lisa Nelson on May 27, 2010 at 6:05am — 2 Comments

Breastfeeding adopted baby?

I don't know if I've said this before, but I am currently in school to be a nurse so I have some background in and knowledge of various health issues. One thing that makes me really sad about adoption is the idea that my baby will not (likely) be nourished with breastmilk. It's just so important, in my opinion, for nutrition and development and I feel like she'll be cheated since her mom won't be able to nurse her... unless she will. I've heard about adoptive breastfeeding but it seems like an… Continue

Added by Kristin on May 26, 2010 at 3:40pm — 23 Comments

years later

It is hard to believe I sent my son Alex off for his last week of his freshman year of high school today. He was 5 when he came to us from Romania. He was so tiny--5 years old and weariing a size 2T with a lot of safety pins at the waist, wearing a diaper and with an eye that crossed. Now he is taller than I am, doing well in school, athletic and so very handsome. I can say that because those aren't my genes. He hasn't been Alex from Romania in so long and that is wonderful. He just fits and…

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Added by Cathy Bonnstetter on May 24, 2010 at 6:45am — No Comments

Adoptee issues

Open or closed, adoptees have a lot they need to process. While I do think openness is better in that the adoptee can have answers to many questions that those in closed adoption cannot have, and most importantly can have contact with their birth families, it does not eliminate the difficult aspects of adoption altogether.

This is a short article written by an adoptive mom. It is very much worth reading as it brings to light the fact that adopted children may have struggles,…

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Added by michelle on May 22, 2010 at 10:10am — No Comments

Illinois bill

I found this response to the pending Illinois bill. Interesting that adoptee rights advocates are opposed to it. This says it criminalizes adoptees who use information from particular sources to find their birth families. How crazy is that?!

http://bastardette.blogspot.com/2010/05/bastard-nation-action-alert-its-not-too.html

Added by michelle on May 21, 2010 at 5:04am — 1 Comment

Thoughts on choosing the baby's name?

Someone shared a link to the site birthmother.com, and they had an article that included a list of questions to ask adoptive parents in order to get to know them and what kind of life they would provide for a baby. I was surprised that one of the questions was "Will they let you pick the name or is the name they've chosen set in stone?" I had wondered about this- how to approach the subject of names- but I just kind of assumed that the adoptive parents would pick the baby's name. But this made… Continue

Added by Kristin on May 20, 2010 at 9:07am — 28 Comments

Resources and Responsibilities: part 2

Read part 1 here...



Even in extreme situations, there are resources available to parents struggling to integrate a new child into their home. Families may…

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Added by Brooke Randolph on May 19, 2010 at 11:30am — 2 Comments

Including infertility in a parent profile?

We try to approach adoption with the sensitivity it deserves. Learning from all members of the adoption triad is why we joined sites like adoption voices. When we wrote our parent profile, we decided not to include anything about our infertility struggles. We are so excited to adopt and just decided that including infertility in our profile wasn't necessary.

I'd love to hear how others feel about this. Especially those who have placed a child or are considering placing a child. Would…

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Added by Anne and Tommy on May 19, 2010 at 9:40am — 5 Comments

What criteria do you think is important in a family?

I've been thinking about what sorts of families I'd like to consider/talk with/meet and it's occurred to me that I don't really know what I think is important. I have thought about the reasons why I feel ill equipped to parent- being single, being too young, not having finished school yet, living on a tight budget- and so i guess it makes sense that I'm looking for a two parent family that have finished school and are more established in their lives, age-wise and financially, than I am.… Continue

Added by Kristin on May 19, 2010 at 7:35am — 16 Comments

adoption memoirs

Hello! I am a new member of adoption voices. However, I am not new to the world of international adoption. I have a son from Romania. He is now 16 and we brought him home when he was 5. I am also the author of an ebook,"Learning to Love Stranger." The book is a nonfiction work about what happened to several families that first year with their child from overseas. The stories are funny, touching--just a chronicle of how everyone adjusts when someone new comes to a family. One family had to… Continue

Added by Cathy Bonnstetter on May 19, 2010 at 4:21am — No Comments

Resources and Responsibilities: part 1

The story of Artyom Savelyev adopted from and returned to Russia is deeply concerning for me as an adoption advocate and licensed mental health counselor who has worked with all sides of the adoption triad. I am concerned about all of the other children in Russia who may miss out on a chance for a forever family. I am worried that media coverage is actually contributing to that likelihood. It is not only actions that put children in danger,… Continue

Added by Brooke Randolph on May 18, 2010 at 7:57pm — No Comments

Support Sites

I have really grown to like this site and find myself on here quite a bit. Are there other sites that you guys/ladies frequent? I like the Nest/the Bump and belong to another private adoption site, Adoption Talk. Any other suggestions?

A little about me: I am an adoptive parent hoping to add another child to our family.

Thanks =)

Added by Michelle on May 18, 2010 at 2:03pm — 1 Comment

Adding on...

Adoption is all about adding on - to your family, to your capacity to love, to your joy... the list of add ons is endless. We're in the process of trying to adopt an older teen - one who is very much alone in the world, no extended family known, and no back ups in her life if anything goes wrong. But, the wheels of social work turn slowly, and we wait and tread water while her worker decides what is best for this young girl.

Sometimes adoption can feel like it's full of "take…

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Added by Brenda McCreight on May 17, 2010 at 4:30pm — 1 Comment

First Chinese Adult Adoptee Worldwide Reunion 2010, Hong Kong

Dear Adult Adoptees,



RE: First Chinese Adult Adoptee Worldwide Reunion 2010, Hong Kong

Dates: Sept 28 - Oct 2, 2010, Register asap

Website: http://www.caawr.com



We are a group of adult adoptees and orphans trying to find each other around the world in time for the above adoptee reunion.



We invite all adult Hong Kong and Chinese adoptees and orphans to our first adoptee reunion, and to learn more, adoptees are welcome to… Continue

Added by Lucinda Wu on May 14, 2010 at 8:00am — No Comments

Musings after Mother's Day

Well Mother’s Day has come and gone. I hope that yours was special. We did something different this year. After my girls had prepared for me a lovely breakfast of homemade blueberry pancakes and we had eaten, we packed our bags and slipped away to motel which had an indoor pool. My youngest had no idea of what we were doing so was…

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Added by Sharon Beth Brani on May 12, 2010 at 8:38am — No Comments

mirror, mirror

I recently had to do some self-reflection about some of my older attitudes about adoption.

http://thewarriorprincessdiaries.blogspot.com/2010/05/mirror-mirror.html

Added by michelle on May 8, 2010 at 1:41pm — No Comments

does race matter?

well now I definitely need some advice. I read an article that got me all worked up, and worried about our second son being biracial. I wasn't concerned before. Now I'm worried that I'll screw up how he views himself and his place in the world somehow.

I understand that the race factor can't be ignored.......and I don't intend to....... but I don't intend to cram it down his throat either.…

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Added by Adrienne on May 6, 2010 at 10:45am — 1 Comment

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