The Fake Birth Certificate
When a child is adopted, the local government issues a new birth certificate to the family. The new birth certificate essentially obliterates evidence of the child’s past, as though it never happened. Instead of showing that a child was born to the parents who actually gave birth to her -- and then indicating that the child is adopted into her new family and has a new name – the new birth certificate is issued as though the adoptive parents gave birth to the child on her birthday. In our case, Maya’s newly issued birth certificate asserts to the world that Tim and I gave birth to her in Pennsylvania in the exact hospital and at the exact moment that she actually was born. Her mother’s name – the person that actually did give birth to her – is nowhere to be seen on the newly issued birth certificate. Nor is her biological father’s name there. Instantly wiped out and erased by the government. Kind of like being in the witness protection program. The government creates a new identity for an adopted child and issues official government documents to perpetuate the lie. The only difference? Adopted children generally don’t need protection from anyone, particularly not from their original families. In the instances where children might need protection from abusive original families, perhaps this fiction is warranted. But, for the most part, adopted people WANT their original birth certificates and the only people they need protection from are the government bureaucrats that continue to deny them this fundamentally important information.
We have what is known in adoption circles as an “open” adoption. We have essentially extended our family to include Maya’s family, so that hopefully Maya will feel that she has not been ripped from her roots, but merely replanted in another part of her family garden. So, for Maya, she will always have access to her original birth certificate. She can ask her mother to see it when she is with her because we have a very good relationship with Maya's original family. But the original birth certificate no longer has any legal effect. It is null and void, essentially. As though her birth to her mother never really occurred the way that it did. It is as though the original birth certificate created a marriage and the second birth certificate represents a divorce decree. But instead of creating a new type of paperwork to represent reality – that Maya was born to a first set of parents and adopted to a second set – the government has taken the documentation that already exists and tries to make it seem as though the reality were different. The government tries to make it look as though Maya were born to Tim and me. Like forcing a square peg into a round hole.
I am completely comfortable with the fact that I am Maya’s mother. I don’t need her birth certificate to erase the existence of her original mother in order to make me feel like I am her mother. I know I am her mother. I feel like the birth certificate I have is a total fake. I would prefer if it said that Nevaeh Nikol, born to Nikki and Y.A. on her birth date at the hospital in Pennsylvania, will now be known as Maya Nevaeh Nikol, with her new parents Tim and Michelle, of New York. Why can’t the government create some new documentation to evidence the reality that we know to be true instead of insisting that it’s version of reality is the only one that it will document? Tim and I had never even heard of the town where Maya was born until we got involved with adopting her. We had surely never set foot there. It feels like such a sham to have government issued documents, with raised seal and all, claiming that we gave birth to her in a town we had never set foot in. I can’t begin to imagine what that feels like to a child or even grown adopted person. I imagine it gives one an instinctive sense of the irony of life and government authority.
I have asked my girlfriend who is adopted how she felt. She is an adopted person who has no interest in the mother who gave birth to her. She says she would just tell her "Thanks for doing the right thing. I have had a great life." I find this to be a little bit of denial. But what do I know? I am not an adopted person. I just can’t imagine not wanting to know my biological and personal history. I am like that. To her, her history is that of her adoptive parents, period. The history with her biological parents is irrelevant. Anyway, she doesn't feel the birth certificate is fake and says she sees it as necessary to show that she is the legal child of her parents.
I feel as though there must be another way -- particularly in an open adoption. In the days of closed adoptions, when parents tried to hide that their children were adopted, I can see the necessity of the fake birth certificate. It looks just like a real one. Unless one conducted a C.S.I.-like fiber test to determine whether the fibers are consistent with documents on the date of birth, it would be impossible for anyone to tell that the fake birth certificate is a government-issued forgery. I guess if you want your child to live a lie, the fake birth certificate serves you well. But when a child is always told that they are adopted and there are no secrets, I would think that the government could create a new kind of document to commemorate the new family relationships. I’ve heard of “born again” but even when one is “born again,” a new birth certificate is not issued. I don’t think a new birth certificate is appropriate for adoptions either.
I am fully behind the movement to open all original birth certificates to adopted people. I believe that the government has no right to be in collusion with the original parents in denying a person access to their original history. I don't understand why the parents’ rights are given more weight than the child's rights. Why does a parent have a greater right to erase history with the government’s blessing and complicity (and perhaps live in denial of ever having given birth)? What about a child’s right to know his or her own personal history? Who decided that the parents' wishes were more valuable than the child's right? The child had no say in the entire situation. The parents had some control over their choices. It is a screwed up system where the government surreptitiously works with parents to erase the evidence of having given birth to a child, in total defiance of what the child’s wishes might be.
With my daughter, when she gets old enough to understand, she will be able to see her original birth certificate at her mother’s house. Even if it is null and void. I may just explain to her that “your mother has your original birth certificate. I have the fake one they created because the government is too stupid to understand that I don't need to have my name on your birth certificate to know that I am your mother."
I guess that's part of what p***** me off. Why does the government think that I have to be on her birth certificate to be considered her mother? There are mothers that give birth and mothers that don't. Why does the government continue to insist that there is only one type of mother? Why does the government only recognize one type of mother? If they recognized adoptive mothers as legitimate mothers, they would give us an amended birth certificate or some document that represented our reality. Instead, if you're not the parent that gave birth, they will create a whole new fiction to make it look like you did. As though I need their documentation to tell me that I am my daughter’s mother. As though I need for them to obliterate Maya’s mother who gave birth to her and who loves her, for me to be a mother to Maya. Typical government: if the reality doesn't fit their story, they make the paperwork thick enough to cover the reality and make it look like the story they want to present.
Maya is lucky. In some ways. She will always have access to her personal history and original birth certificate. But she still must grow up knowing that the government sought to obliterate all evidence of her relationship with the mother that gave her life. Others are not so lucky. And they won’t know their history until we stop allowing the government to perpetuate the fiction that a child can only have one type of mother: the mother that gives birth. We must stop allowing the government to force our reality to fit their fiction.
Stepping down from my soapbox.
We have what is known in adoption circles as an “open” adoption. We have essentially extended our family to include Maya’s family, so that hopefully Maya will feel that she has not been ripped from her roots, but merely replanted in another part of her family garden. So, for Maya, she will always have access to her original birth certificate. She can ask her mother to see it when she is with her because we have a very good relationship with Maya's original family. But the original birth certificate no longer has any legal effect. It is null and void, essentially. As though her birth to her mother never really occurred the way that it did. It is as though the original birth certificate created a marriage and the second birth certificate represents a divorce decree. But instead of creating a new type of paperwork to represent reality – that Maya was born to a first set of parents and adopted to a second set – the government has taken the documentation that already exists and tries to make it seem as though the reality were different. The government tries to make it look as though Maya were born to Tim and me. Like forcing a square peg into a round hole.
I am completely comfortable with the fact that I am Maya’s mother. I don’t need her birth certificate to erase the existence of her original mother in order to make me feel like I am her mother. I know I am her mother. I feel like the birth certificate I have is a total fake. I would prefer if it said that Nevaeh Nikol, born to Nikki and Y.A. on her birth date at the hospital in Pennsylvania, will now be known as Maya Nevaeh Nikol, with her new parents Tim and Michelle, of New York. Why can’t the government create some new documentation to evidence the reality that we know to be true instead of insisting that it’s version of reality is the only one that it will document? Tim and I had never even heard of the town where Maya was born until we got involved with adopting her. We had surely never set foot there. It feels like such a sham to have government issued documents, with raised seal and all, claiming that we gave birth to her in a town we had never set foot in. I can’t begin to imagine what that feels like to a child or even grown adopted person. I imagine it gives one an instinctive sense of the irony of life and government authority.
I have asked my girlfriend who is adopted how she felt. She is an adopted person who has no interest in the mother who gave birth to her. She says she would just tell her "Thanks for doing the right thing. I have had a great life." I find this to be a little bit of denial. But what do I know? I am not an adopted person. I just can’t imagine not wanting to know my biological and personal history. I am like that. To her, her history is that of her adoptive parents, period. The history with her biological parents is irrelevant. Anyway, she doesn't feel the birth certificate is fake and says she sees it as necessary to show that she is the legal child of her parents.
I feel as though there must be another way -- particularly in an open adoption. In the days of closed adoptions, when parents tried to hide that their children were adopted, I can see the necessity of the fake birth certificate. It looks just like a real one. Unless one conducted a C.S.I.-like fiber test to determine whether the fibers are consistent with documents on the date of birth, it would be impossible for anyone to tell that the fake birth certificate is a government-issued forgery. I guess if you want your child to live a lie, the fake birth certificate serves you well. But when a child is always told that they are adopted and there are no secrets, I would think that the government could create a new kind of document to commemorate the new family relationships. I’ve heard of “born again” but even when one is “born again,” a new birth certificate is not issued. I don’t think a new birth certificate is appropriate for adoptions either.
I am fully behind the movement to open all original birth certificates to adopted people. I believe that the government has no right to be in collusion with the original parents in denying a person access to their original history. I don't understand why the parents’ rights are given more weight than the child's rights. Why does a parent have a greater right to erase history with the government’s blessing and complicity (and perhaps live in denial of ever having given birth)? What about a child’s right to know his or her own personal history? Who decided that the parents' wishes were more valuable than the child's right? The child had no say in the entire situation. The parents had some control over their choices. It is a screwed up system where the government surreptitiously works with parents to erase the evidence of having given birth to a child, in total defiance of what the child’s wishes might be.
With my daughter, when she gets old enough to understand, she will be able to see her original birth certificate at her mother’s house. Even if it is null and void. I may just explain to her that “your mother has your original birth certificate. I have the fake one they created because the government is too stupid to understand that I don't need to have my name on your birth certificate to know that I am your mother."
I guess that's part of what p***** me off. Why does the government think that I have to be on her birth certificate to be considered her mother? There are mothers that give birth and mothers that don't. Why does the government continue to insist that there is only one type of mother? Why does the government only recognize one type of mother? If they recognized adoptive mothers as legitimate mothers, they would give us an amended birth certificate or some document that represented our reality. Instead, if you're not the parent that gave birth, they will create a whole new fiction to make it look like you did. As though I need their documentation to tell me that I am my daughter’s mother. As though I need for them to obliterate Maya’s mother who gave birth to her and who loves her, for me to be a mother to Maya. Typical government: if the reality doesn't fit their story, they make the paperwork thick enough to cover the reality and make it look like the story they want to present.
Maya is lucky. In some ways. She will always have access to her personal history and original birth certificate. But she still must grow up knowing that the government sought to obliterate all evidence of her relationship with the mother that gave her life. Others are not so lucky. And they won’t know their history until we stop allowing the government to perpetuate the fiction that a child can only have one type of mother: the mother that gives birth. We must stop allowing the government to force our reality to fit their fiction.
Stepping down from my soapbox.
Comment
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Comment by Michelle on June 1, 2010 at 5:24pm -
Would two birth certificates suffice? The second one supersedes the first? Like a passport that has expired? But, just as you don't have to turn the passport in, you don't have to turn the OBC in. Or is it too bizarre that a birth certificate expires?
Or what about a document that everyone gets that states who their parents are? That is not considered a birth certificate? So that adopted people can have one document that demonstrates who their parents are. And the birth certificate is not altered. But the second document would have to be something that everyone gets. Or else it's like walking around with a scarlet A on your shoulder when you pull it out.
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Comment by michelle on June 1, 2010 at 4:17pm -
Michelle, you can just picture me standing in my kitchen applauding.
No, really.
My mom and I both have serious issues with my birth certificate. It is simply not truthful, and at 41 years old I would simply like the same orignal document all non-adopted U.S. citizens are supplied with. It's ridiculous that my status as an adopted person keeps be from obtaining it.
Kelly, how do relate an accurate birth certificate to not belonging in the adoptive family? The adopted person is adopted no matter who's name is listed as mother on the birth certificate. It neither negates nor ensures the adoptive mother's role in the child's life. And honestly, this is not about what adoptive parents want. (I too am an adoptive parent, as well as an adoptee, and it angers me that neither my daughter nor I will be able to access our original documents.) It's about adoptees being denied the same basic rights as everyone else.
Do I understand the need for some family privacy? Yes, I do, though for trans-racial families the adoptive relationship is already obvious. Regardless, I'm not sure an OBC with adopted stamped across the front is a much better solution. I'm not sure I know what the best solution is. However, a great start would be for the government to stop sealing the OBCs upon adoption.
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Comment by Michelle on May 31, 2010 at 11:58am
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Kelly, I think that is a lot of people's position. And I think I represented that idea in discussing what my friend thinks. I understand the idea of wanting to belong. But why can't we expand our notions of who "belongs" so that even kids who are adopted into a family are considered to belong in our society? Can't we push others to understand that we are parents just the same?
Also, when you are in an transracial adoption (as my husband and I, his parents, his cousin, and his aunt and uncles were) when you put your children in school, there is no pretending that you are the biological parent. Everyone knows that this is a family formed in a manner other than biology. We can't function as a "normal" family if that means pretending that we are biologically related.
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Comment by Laura C on May 30, 2010 at 5:05am -
Michelle, thanks so much for your reply regarding my experience. I have written about this experience at the apartment complex years ago in response to many topics like "should you change your adopted child's name" and a reflective blog on my relationship with my children's birth mother called metamorphosis from May in honor of Birthmother's Day. Most people's view points are shaped by their life experiences which include educational and work.
My children's Birthmother has a major mental illness and developmental delay (she acts about 12-14 yrs old) she also has MS nad it has progressed much these last few years. It is doubtful that she understands the full impact of frauding the goverment with public housing. She does not have that kind of capacity. I chose compassion over prosecution or punative measure on this action. I do believe her mother eventually held the certs on her behalf after relaying the story to her.
I wish I had a situation with visits where Birthmom could come to my home and we could go out to lunch and so forth. However, she does not have a concept of boundaries and has angry outbursts. Most of the time she is just in a another place mentally. That is just the reality of the situation. I wish I had a open adoption under different circumstances.
I just wanted to let you know that if there was an alternative document other than the altering of the original birth certificate I would have one. The one I have is in no way an accurate reflection of the children actual birth. For instance, this is amusing, the address is our current address and we are home owners here for years. But we did not close on this house until a year after he was born. The real estate records for this county would show the former owner. He was aso born a month after our marriage. So it would appear to be a "shot gun" wedding. Too funny.
My son's little sister, my adopted daughter birth certificate was feasable but not an actual reflection of truth. I don't think that all adopted parents are trying to use the birth cert as posers but rather this is the system currently in use and much needs to be done to reform both the fostercare system and the adoption process needs to be a more accurate reflection. But as we have both stated previously we do not need a piece of paper to show that we are our children's mother. I was their mother long before the finalization and receipt of the papers in the mail.
P.S My son's original certificate from his birthmother has that he was living on "Laura" street. Talk about meant to be for a child. Just a coincidence.
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Comment by Michelle on May 29, 2010 at 7:04pm
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Laura, we have totally different viewpoints. I understand the whole foster care thing. My daughter was adopted from foster care. I never got her original certificate. And the one I received merely states that it was issued at a later date. (As though I wrote to obtain a copy because I lost it.) Nowhere does it state that I did not give birth. It states that she was born in PA on her birth date to her parents, Tim and Michelle.
I am also an attorney. I have represented foster and birth mothers in court. I disagree that this is the way it has to be.
Maya's mother comes and stays at my house. She certainly knows where we live and work. And she has Maya's original birth certificate, which she is entitled to. No one ever asked her to turn it over, nor should they. She has Maya's SS card from when she was born. We agreed to keep the number the same so that Maya doesn't have to give up any more of her former life than she already has.
I am sure there are biological parents who try to fraud the system. The fraud should be prosecuted. But they shouldn't be deprived of the one piece of paper that they have left which evidences that they once had a child.
As I said, I think you and I totally disagree. And it's not because I don't understand. As I said, I do understand. I am an attorney and have represented both foster and bio parents (though mostly I did securities litigation). And I adopted my daughter after she was taken away from her mother. Instead of making her mother the villain, I decided to try and see things from her perspective and make her my family.
Michelle
www.fourgardnersandme.blogspot.com
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Comment by Laura C on May 29, 2010 at 4:06pm
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Michelle,
Right you are on alot of your points. I also wanted to let you know about a place on an adopted child's birth certificate that shows that it is not an original or first cert. I was told by our adoption attorney that the issue date on the bottom box would be a current date and then a date stamp.
I think as your friend does that the birth certificate is a legal document and should not be thought of as a birthing certificate. I think that all adoptive parents should have and retain a copy of the first birth certifcate on behalf of your child.
I don't think in cases like this dicussion that I could relate anything other than my own experience. I was informally adopted by friends in our church (i was about 13) they never formally adopted but rather did guardianship. It was an open arrangement and i have contact as an adult with most of my birth family. But in a very disfunctional way, becuase I do not have an adoption cert and new birth certificate my birth family avoids the discussion like the plague and acts as though I was just missing in action for 8 years of my life. Not too healthy i must say.
So now, as an adult I have 2 bio children from my first husband (teens) and two adopted children. the two little ones I adopted from the fostercare system. They were little 1 and 4 and it took 3 years to have them finalized. I can say, they lived with my current husband and two older children most of their young life. Sooooo back to the birth certificate discussion.
When I was foster parenting the little ones my employer was an attorney. i have a legal background but worked in realestate. I viewed a birth cert very much like a legal document and realized nothing could be done without one. But in a fostercare adoption a TPR is what is sough after for a perspective adoptive parent or permenency is not possible (believe me these kids in these situation have bad situation that they cannot return to somethimes). Sometimes birthparents sign a judicial surrender and agree to some sort of contact post adoption and that clearly states they are birthparents. Then an intent to adopt from the county is signed becuase before that "the county is their legal parents". So the intent to adopt is another form I have. The another big wait for all this paerwork to go to a judge (another year) and a call for an adoption finalization and an adoption certificate is issued. The lastly a month or so after a new birth certificate and social security cards.
But what I want to tell you about is the thing that happened to me between the judicial surrender and the adoption itself (the finalization). I am going to try to reduce the drama in this story.
April comes and the kids have been with us almost 3 years. they were 1 and 4 and now 4 and 7 yrs old. It's a long wait with no stablity for the kids. Birth-father has TPR for abandonment and birthmother is stressing about TPR and the injustice of it all. She signs a judicial surrender with post contact information to be send to our PO BOX. It's an emotional day for everyone.
By this time I have left working at the Law firm and am employed as a leasing agent in subsizadized housing. I work in a high rise building in a model apartment called a office/apartment.
Three weeks later she (birthmother) shows up at my employer (the apartment complex) looking to move into an apartment and is homeless. She has the disablities to qualify for a special program for reduced rent (ssi, ssd). A better living situation for her for sure.
But back to the problem at hand, birthmother is on her way down to office walking down long hall way and I am in the mix showing an apartment. I see her and she does not see me (or recognize)
I hangout in a nearby studio apartment while another co-worker takes her application. I am shaken that is for sure, would it be good for her to know where I work, probably not.
I say to the co-worker, I am surprized that she did not ask to view the studio apartment that I hung out in until she left. Oh no, she says "she looked at three bedroom and had "her kids paperwork with her". She had certs and ss cards and her own id and documents. This was time period between the judicial surrender and adoption period. I was alarmed but her rental history was so bad with evictions and money owed she never qualified to get an apartment. But the intent to fraud was there for sure.
So when I meet with my adoption attorney i discussed what transpirated a the complex. I felt like I had to be the only one to experience such a thing. Not so, she said, very common with people who recieve public assistance and food stamps. The birthparents have a hard time living with out the extra funds for the kids that once lived there. I did not want to make trouble for my children's birthmother and did not pursue that route. I just did not want her using the kids info and possibly messing up their credit or worse.
What did we do? We had agreed to maintain part of the children's birth names at the surrender. We did that and the kids knew the phonetic sound. But we changes the spelling and used variations. Like k instead of C and so forth. We also got different social security cards numbers. Now if something comes our way and it is spelled differently we know that there is a problem with fraud. Does this happen alot? enough that our attorney knew about it. When I told the birthmother's mother (maternal grandparent) what had happened she said that her daughter has a right to the birth certifcates and that was that. I reminded her that what she was doing was illegal and that the old cerificate should be turned in to social services and they would void it for future use.
So I know this is a long crazy story and I wanted to let u know we still have copies of the original birthcertificate along with hospital pictures and letters from grandparents ect for lifebooks. Their adoption is not a secret and they are told often about their special adoption day. As adoptive parent that is how I feel and as a birthparent myself (i have two bio kids) i would not like anyone to claim they labored in the hospital for those two. As a legal professional I say that Justice and fairness are two different things often confused. Issuing a new birth certificate is legal and justice (that is why it is done) but is not fair. Fair is not what you are usually provided in court and we hope for legal. Maybe we can hope in the future to have a new way for doing things, but for now, the birth certificate is the legal document that means you are a childs legal parent. The other legal document I have a problem with is the realestate "Truth in Lending", now really?
As I said before, this is only my personal experience not all adoptive parents
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