I’m not going to lie…going through the adoption process was a roller coaster of every emotion possible, from the highest highs to the heartbreaking lows, all bundled up into one experience. I’m not sure how our experience compares to what you’re facing or what you will face, but for me having the love and support of everyone important in our lives was essential, but the support of one person in particular still stands out above all others.
The enormous amount of support we received from family and friends was overwhelming at times and so genuinely appreciated, but one person, after 12 years, still stands out to me as being the one person essential to our story…our adoption counselor. I know, I know…you might have expected that I say it was my mother or my husband or even my best friend, and although each of those people was important, our counselor was the one person I needed the most throughout our adoption process.
We found our counselor before we found the agency through a recommendation of someone who knew our story. Coming from the other side of an adoption as a birth mother, she couldn’t say enough about the woman who eventually became our own counselor–representing us…the adoptive parents…and that spoke volumes to me.
Upon our first conversation, we instantly connected. She took a sincere interest in us and our desire to start our family. She was kind, loving, supportive, understanding, and loyal. She never wavered on any point from being our number one support figure, regardless of what we faced. When we had news…she was the one who brought it to us…not only did she deliver the news, she celebrated with us, she laughed and cried with us. When I didn’t have answers, she helped me find them through research, learning from others who had experienced a given situation, and introducing what she found to us. She was inspirational, supportive, kind…everything that I needed…as I needed it and whenever I needed it. She became a member of our family too.
Looking back on the beginning of our adoption story, so many people played important support roles in it but hers was the strongest of them all. Although she’d walked this line with many other families before ours, she always made time for me whenever I needed her advice, support, help, her shoulder, or her ear. She was my rock when I needed one; she was my friend when I needed that; she was my confident when I struggled, and my counselor when I was weak. She was my inspiration and my cheer squad, my support beam and my favorite blanket all rolled up into one. She was always true to herself and always loyal to me. Everyone is deserving of their own angel, I was truly blessed to have been lead to mine.
Almost 13 years later, we still keep in touch. I know her family and she knows mine…not just the family she helped to create…but my parents, my friends, my extended family and I know her parents, her brother, her friends and her own family. We have become intertwined in each other’s lives. Who would have ever guessed?
They say that people come in and go out of our lives. Some people stay for just a short while, and others stay around for the long term; I’ve been so blessed to find someone who continues to walk by my side and continues to be a part of our story, and I still call her friend.