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Melanie Morales
- Female
- Amarillo, TX
- United States
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Melanie Morales's Discussions
Domestic Infant Adoption Hospital Experiences?
Replied Aug. 25, 2009
Facebook???
Replied Jun. 27, 2009
Birthmother sues state
Replied Jun. 25, 2009
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I have heard stories of several birth mothers being convinced by nurses on staff that they needed to parent and not place. And one such case was a set of TWINS!
My own experience as a birth mother was that no one was equipped to help me. I had an e…
This is something I definitely have an opinion on! I am both an adoptee (who has searched years for her birth mother without even a hint of progress) and a birth mother who placed. Both were closed adoptions. Agencies who believe child should never…
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- adoptee, birthparent, friend or family member is touched by adoption
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- I was adopted as an infant - been searching for my birth mother for ten years with no luck. There are people in my life now that know who she was as well as my birth father who will not tell me anything. My parents are very supportive of my search - but I keep hitting brick walls. I hired someone two weeks ago who took my money and not returning my phone calls or emails. So I won't be doing that again.
When I was 21, I placed my son for adoption. I found him recently (searching that way in Texas at least is very easy - took me 2 minutes) and it was such a healing thing for me because he's had a great life - he wants to know me, too... I am so blessed by knowing this end of the story. He ran into the same walls I did trying to find me. When he turned 18 he contacted the agency he was placed through - they told him there was nothing they could do to help him find me - told him nothing about the Texas Voluntary Adoption Registry... They knew very well that I was looking forward to meeting him, signed a release that was in the file, and registered with the voluntary registry. So, I'm glad I found him on my own.
Comment Wall (6 comments)
- At 4:37pm on September 29, 2009,
elaine howell said…
- what kind of motion did the agency make? Believe me,I really do understand the frustration you are feeling. I think I would try to speak to whatever rep. in Texas proposed that bill that became law.Obviously,the legislature decided it was ok to somewhat open the records. Your best bet for now though may be to exert pressure on the agency...they wouldn't be breaking any law by providing a 1st initial w/a last name,and they technically wouldn't be telling you your bmom's name as such...if you could find the right worker.I don't know...you would think the agency might act as a go between or something.Who does the agency think it is to play God?
- At 4:07pm on September 29, 2009,
elaine howell said…
- Melanie...I just saw it on line...as of 9/01/09,adult adoptees in Texas can get their original birth certificate!!!!! google "open adoption records/texas" and check it out.There appears to be a $9.00 fee.
- At 3:35pm on September 29, 2009,
elaine howell said…
- that's my girl!!! You know,newspapers and even local tv stations eat this stuff up...and if this agency accapts public funds of any kind,you could probably have an absolute field day!!! 1 thing...here is how I got my name at birth.I grew up in the co. I was adopted in.I went to the courthouse,and requested to see the adoption papers ,all public information in all states,as they are the 1's filed in court that your A.parents sign.My identity was listed as "Baby girl Haynes".Haynes was my Bmom's last name.You are not officially given,in a legal sense,your adoptive last name until the adoption is actually finalized...which is a legal process,and paperwork has to be filed w/the local court of standing in the jurisdiction in which the adoption was finalized.Your birth certificate is amended only after said finalization...you can be sure that there is a name somewhere .Have you been to the vault in person at the courthouse?If you haven't and go,do not tell the clerk you want to look for your biomom...they get judgemental.Just tell them you want to see your adoption paperwork,and do not back down if they try to press you.If it is in a courthouse,it is most likely a public record.
- At 3:21pm on September 29, 2009,
elaine howell said…
- if you still have all 3 of said pages,have you ever thought about going public to put a little pressure on the agency in the place it might just hurt them?I mean in their pocketbooks(as open adoption is becoming more and more popular every day and you could "help" this agency to lose potential clientele,and in their public image:"be careful if you plan to trust this agency as they obviously have absolutely no trouble LYING").Also,a legal redress may be possible,as they are not even fulfilling their obligation to give you NON-IDENTIFYING information.Who in your life knows who this woman is(your Bmom) and how?
- At 3:09pm on September 29, 2009,
elaine howell said…
- Is it a public adoption agency or a private one?By public,I mean,say,Social Services.My agency,which was public,said the same thing and was very unsupportive of my effort to obtain information,as it sounds like the one you were adopted is.However,once Va. law changed(and there is an adoption registry there,too),the agency had no choice.Have you also thought about petitioning a Circuit Court for identifying details from your adoption record? That was what had to be done in Va. before the law changed maybe 15 yeaers ago.I know the total frustration of being told that you are not allowed to be trusted with information about yourself,when it is so easy for non-adoptees to dig up just about anything they choose to look for. I am telling you,though,unless you were left ananymously on a hospital doorstep(in essence,a foundling),there IS a way to get what you want .When the front door is all boarded up,there are still cracks in the foundation to the place you are being blocked from entering. A little deception worked in my case.
- At 2:16pm on September 29, 2009,
elaine howell said…
- Melainie---you said you have had no luck searching for your bmom...check to see if the state where your adoption was finalized has amended its disclosure laws in about the last 15 years.Some have making it far easier to search and even to be reunited.I found my Bmother 25 years ago,before there was an option in Va. to have the placing agency contact,as a 3rd party,the other parties involved in a closed adoption. I found her by being a bit deceptive and by being a real good amateur detective.However,about 9 years ago,the son my Bmom released for adoption 9 years after me found me by utilizing the amended disclosure laws in Va. Your Bmom may not know if you were even told iyhat u were adopted,and may be afraid to try to find you. There are all sorts of reasons,I would think...fear being the predominant one.Good luck!!If I can help you in any way,please let me know.
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